And it's all ending.
I can end this.
I have hope.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Come Away With Me
With the Winter season upon us, and Christmas right around the corner, I am flooded of memories of the past few years during these times.
The cold always reminds me of three certain people.
One of them was short lived.
Sitting in our cars, simply talking for hours.
Eating Enchiladas at my dinner table.
Giving me a glimpse of what I could have in the future.
Another one brings a lot of thoughts.
It was not the right time for us.
But for a few weeks, I was the only girl in the world.
I was a Princess.
(And I'm probably gonna get crap for saying all of this, but its the truth).
The letters, the time, the secrets, the laughter.
It felt surreal.
And the last one, was the one I thought would be my forever.
Playing with the snow.
Walking to our mountaintop.
Carving our names on the bench.
This is why Winter is so delicate for me, and maybe why Summer is my favorite season. Because of my relationships during these seasons.
It brings these memories back into my head the minute I can see my breath, the minute I pull out my scarves, my peacoat, my brown Uggs, my pink blanket.
All of these things have memories of these people that were so important at one time.
They still are.
They know that.
Christmas season is the "most wonderful time of the year", but it also feels the most romantic. It's sad...
I think going back up North is going to trigger these thoughts also, because everywhere in that little town has a memory to me. Maybe that's why I like it so much. I was so excited to move back down here, but at the same time, I feel as if alot of my life, alot of my growing up, was in Auburn. Believe me, I have tons of growing up to do here. Tons. But Auburn is a part of me.
And I cannot WAIT to go back to this. 1 month, 6 days.
The cold always reminds me of three certain people.
One of them was short lived.
Sitting in our cars, simply talking for hours.
Eating Enchiladas at my dinner table.
Giving me a glimpse of what I could have in the future.
Another one brings a lot of thoughts.
It was not the right time for us.
But for a few weeks, I was the only girl in the world.
I was a Princess.
(And I'm probably gonna get crap for saying all of this, but its the truth).
The letters, the time, the secrets, the laughter.
It felt surreal.
And the last one, was the one I thought would be my forever.
Playing with the snow.
Walking to our mountaintop.
Carving our names on the bench.
This is why Winter is so delicate for me, and maybe why Summer is my favorite season. Because of my relationships during these seasons.
It brings these memories back into my head the minute I can see my breath, the minute I pull out my scarves, my peacoat, my brown Uggs, my pink blanket.
All of these things have memories of these people that were so important at one time.
They still are.
They know that.
Christmas season is the "most wonderful time of the year", but it also feels the most romantic. It's sad...
I think going back up North is going to trigger these thoughts also, because everywhere in that little town has a memory to me. Maybe that's why I like it so much. I was so excited to move back down here, but at the same time, I feel as if alot of my life, alot of my growing up, was in Auburn. Believe me, I have tons of growing up to do here. Tons. But Auburn is a part of me.
And I cannot WAIT to go back to this. 1 month, 6 days.
And, I also cannot WAIT to see her ^^^
Eww.
Thanksgiving break is coming to a close.
Sitting by the fireplace, playing with Biscuit, fresh food, family moments, Lifetime movies, laughter, getting caught up on Gossip Girl, unexpected phone calls, texts from my 4th floor girls, shopping with mom....it all was a wonderful few days.
But now. I have to go back to school, back to reality.
Lovely.
One thing to look forward to, past the drama and homework and everything- is my friends.
I'm so excited to see all of you, and you girls know who you are :)
3 weeks.
I can do it.
Yes I can.
Sitting by the fireplace, playing with Biscuit, fresh food, family moments, Lifetime movies, laughter, getting caught up on Gossip Girl, unexpected phone calls, texts from my 4th floor girls, shopping with mom....it all was a wonderful few days.
But now. I have to go back to school, back to reality.
Lovely.
One thing to look forward to, past the drama and homework and everything- is my friends.
I'm so excited to see all of you, and you girls know who you are :)
3 weeks.
I can do it.
Yes I can.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thanksgiving
Today is Thanksgiving.
Now I could just post a few cliche sentences about how much I am thankful for my life and my family and friends and how much God has blessed me blah blah blah.
Which, is completely true, don't get me wrong.
But if I wrote how happy I am for today, I would be lying.
Today is the first holiday in 3 years that I'm not in Auburn.
The first holiday where my high school friends and I are all apart.
It's weird right now.
This is really weird for me.
I go through my news feed on my Facebook, and everyone from my college have posts like "I'm home!" And there old friends comment and say "Come over." or "When are we hanging out?" or "I better see you!"
That tugs on my heart.
Because I'm somewhere where only my family is.
I'm not where my friends are right now.
And yes, holidays are really about family, and I am SOOOO extremely grateful for the family I have and the relaxing time I am having at home right now.
But the other part of me is in tears.
Tomorrow, I don't get to go pick out Molly's christmas tree with her family.
This weekend, I won't be reunited with the Goddessi.
I won't be sitting at the Starbucks at Chevron, people watching with Heidi.
I won't be eating Blue Nami in Roseville with Katherine or Ashleigh.
I won't be sitting on Molly's fat couch with her and Cole, laughing and watching movies.
I won't be at my park, sitting on the end of the bench, staring at the initials that you & I engraved together years ago, and looking out onto the lake and clouds contemplating my life.
I won't be there.
I am here.
I know I am not the only one feeling this.
Jen is in one of the Carolinas, and Kacie and Katelyn are in Germany.
It's so weird how everyone is in separate places right now. But I know we are all still close and all still wish we were together.
That's what I'm truly thankful for this Thanksgiving.
The fact that the closest people to me are all at different places, but at the same time, we are all in the same place.
And I am also grateful for the fact that I have these new closest people, who also are at different places- Colorado, Arizona, Mexico, California-and we all too, can't wait to be reunited again, even after knowing each other for 3 short months.
And for the last thing, I am very thankful to be sitting here, on a comfy couch, covered in blankets, next to a warm fireplace, with a full stomach, with my family as they watch football, staring out into the beautiful view of the pink and purple fog setting over the mountains, with Biscuit sleeping at my feet. Nothing can replace the love of family and being "home".
And I thank God. Cause without Him, I wouldn't have all these people to be thankful for.
So, I did end up making some cliche statements about what I'm thankful for.
But, they are real, and truly what I'm thankful for.
And even though I'm not there, this is where I am. And I have so many things to smile about through the tears.
Now I could just post a few cliche sentences about how much I am thankful for my life and my family and friends and how much God has blessed me blah blah blah.
Which, is completely true, don't get me wrong.
But if I wrote how happy I am for today, I would be lying.
Today is the first holiday in 3 years that I'm not in Auburn.
The first holiday where my high school friends and I are all apart.
It's weird right now.
This is really weird for me.
I go through my news feed on my Facebook, and everyone from my college have posts like "I'm home!" And there old friends comment and say "Come over." or "When are we hanging out?" or "I better see you!"
That tugs on my heart.
Because I'm somewhere where only my family is.
I'm not where my friends are right now.
And yes, holidays are really about family, and I am SOOOO extremely grateful for the family I have and the relaxing time I am having at home right now.
But the other part of me is in tears.
Tomorrow, I don't get to go pick out Molly's christmas tree with her family.
This weekend, I won't be reunited with the Goddessi.
I won't be sitting at the Starbucks at Chevron, people watching with Heidi.
I won't be eating Blue Nami in Roseville with Katherine or Ashleigh.
I won't be sitting on Molly's fat couch with her and Cole, laughing and watching movies.
I won't be at my park, sitting on the end of the bench, staring at the initials that you & I engraved together years ago, and looking out onto the lake and clouds contemplating my life.
I won't be there.
I am here.
I know I am not the only one feeling this.
Jen is in one of the Carolinas, and Kacie and Katelyn are in Germany.
It's so weird how everyone is in separate places right now. But I know we are all still close and all still wish we were together.
That's what I'm truly thankful for this Thanksgiving.
The fact that the closest people to me are all at different places, but at the same time, we are all in the same place.
And I am also grateful for the fact that I have these new closest people, who also are at different places- Colorado, Arizona, Mexico, California-and we all too, can't wait to be reunited again, even after knowing each other for 3 short months.
And for the last thing, I am very thankful to be sitting here, on a comfy couch, covered in blankets, next to a warm fireplace, with a full stomach, with my family as they watch football, staring out into the beautiful view of the pink and purple fog setting over the mountains, with Biscuit sleeping at my feet. Nothing can replace the love of family and being "home".
And I thank God. Cause without Him, I wouldn't have all these people to be thankful for.
So, I did end up making some cliche statements about what I'm thankful for.
But, they are real, and truly what I'm thankful for.
And even though I'm not there, this is where I am. And I have so many things to smile about through the tears.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Moonstruck
Catchy title, eh?
I am just so excited to leave here for a little bit.
I am so excited to snuggle up by the fireplace with a hot cup of tea, watching movies with my family.
To have no stress of papers or quizzes.
Just to be away and be in my own home.
I am so excited to be relaxed and comfortable.
I think everyone is feeling it. Everyone needs a break for a tiny bit.
I am just so excited to leave here for a little bit.
I am so excited to snuggle up by the fireplace with a hot cup of tea, watching movies with my family.
To have no stress of papers or quizzes.
Just to be away and be in my own home.
I am so excited to be relaxed and comfortable.
I think everyone is feeling it. Everyone needs a break for a tiny bit.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Take Me Away
Take me away to January
I'm done with this year, I'm tired of everyone here
I just need some time alone
Before I'm ready to come back home
There's gotta be something else out there for me
I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream
There's more than this Midwestern town
I can't let this place keep me down
So I tell myself
"There's a girl out on the coast of California,
There's a world out there and it's waiting for you."
And I can hear them calling my name tonight.
Take me away, I need the sand and the waves
The sunset and let's not forget those warm autumn days
I just need to get out of here
And visit the coast just to see her
There's gotta be something else out there for me
I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream
There's more than this Midwestern town
I can't let this place keep me down
So I tell myself
"There's a girl out on the coast of California,
There's a world out there and it's waiting for you."
And I can hear them calling my name tonight.
Take me away to January
I'm done with this year, I'm tired of everyone here
I just need some time alone
Before I'm ready to come back home
I'm done with this year, I'm tired of everyone here
I just need some time alone
Before I'm ready to come back home
There's gotta be something else out there for me
I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream
There's more than this Midwestern town
I can't let this place keep me down
So I tell myself
"There's a girl out on the coast of California,
There's a world out there and it's waiting for you."
And I can hear them calling my name tonight.
Take me away, I need the sand and the waves
The sunset and let's not forget those warm autumn days
I just need to get out of here
And visit the coast just to see her
There's gotta be something else out there for me
I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream
There's more than this Midwestern town
I can't let this place keep me down
So I tell myself
"There's a girl out on the coast of California,
There's a world out there and it's waiting for you."
And I can hear them calling my name tonight.
Take me away to January
I'm done with this year, I'm tired of everyone here
I just need some time alone
Before I'm ready to come back home
Sunday, November 14, 2010
It's whatever.
I am kind of ready for Thanksgiving break, just to get away for a little. Especially to see my family, sleep, and not have any plans.
I loved being gone all weekend with old friends.
We've been here for a little over two months now, and true colors are starting to show.
You start to realize who you can laugh with, who you can be fun with, who you can be serious with, who you can cry with, but most importantly, who you can trust your life with.
I have finally realized this. I'll keep it to myself, but I just know which people are my true friends.
And there not numerous, let me tell you.
But I'd rather have a true friend than many acquaintances.
Moral of the story, I am just kinda over it.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Anyways, I love my sister Alysha, and I see my best friend Molly in 1 month and 22 days.
And I love how Courtney and I are sitting on my bed avoiding our homework. Typical Sunday night. Please let the week go by fast. What a weekend. (I say that after every weekend.)
Ah, life. So unpredictable.
I loved being gone all weekend with old friends.
We've been here for a little over two months now, and true colors are starting to show.
You start to realize who you can laugh with, who you can be fun with, who you can be serious with, who you can cry with, but most importantly, who you can trust your life with.
I have finally realized this. I'll keep it to myself, but I just know which people are my true friends.
And there not numerous, let me tell you.
But I'd rather have a true friend than many acquaintances.
Moral of the story, I am just kinda over it.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Anyways, I love my sister Alysha, and I see my best friend Molly in 1 month and 22 days.
And I love how Courtney and I are sitting on my bed avoiding our homework. Typical Sunday night. Please let the week go by fast. What a weekend. (I say that after every weekend.)
Ah, life. So unpredictable.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
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