It's official.
I have broken. I am shattered. Reality has finally set in.
I can't live in denial anymore.
I need to meet God half way.
I need to spend time by myself.
I need to spend time with God.
I want God to fix me, but I need to fix myself.
I need to stop being so trusting.
I need to focus on those who truly care, who truly encourage me to the a woman of God, a servant of God, be in love with God.
Sometimes it takes a mistake to make everything real.
This is one of those times.
It set in. I need to allow myself to feel this brokenness.
This is what I need to do.
Times- Tenth Avenue North. This song is my cry.
"I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it's been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Now You pull me near You
When we're close, I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become?
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
I hear You say,
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."
Chels I am struggling with this too. I feel like ever since I went home all these tempatations came back into my life and I just distracted.
ReplyDeleteI just want to let you know that your not the only one fighting this type of fight. I also feel alot of this stuff that you are expressing and I love you for blogging because now we can be here for each other.
I love you and Im blessed to have you in my life.
we can do this together. we can build eachother up and encourage one another when things seem rough :)
God will answer our prayers and make us whole again :)