The past week was amazing.
It was as if I never left. Everything felt right.
I loved every part about my trip up north (besides one tiny detail...yes I see your faces Molly, Heidi, and Hales)
The first thought that entered my mind when my plane touched down in Sacramento was, "Why is everything so green? And where are the palm trees?"
But I missed it.
I missed the green pastures, the large trees, the beautiful sky, the icy mornings.
It felt so good to be back.
It felt so good to walk into Starbucks, and see at least 5 people I know.
It felt so good to go to Chevron six times a day.
It felt so good to be sitting in Molly's bed again, doing absolutely nothing, and loving it.
It felt so good to be laughing at the random Auburnites.
It felt so good to go to Taco Tree and eat my life away.
I missed it.
I loved shopping with Tasha. I loved seeing my best friend Tams. I loved holding Pancakes, who is quite large now. I loved going to the gas station upon 5 minutes of me being back and seeing three people I know. I loved drinking an Icee when it's 40 degrees out. I love seeing Mom & Dad Huusfeldt. I love sitting in Taco Tree with Molls and Heidi. I love seeing my big sister and watch her laugh at everything I do. I loved Molly dragging me to her volleyball practice. I loved driving her to our high school, and knowing I didn't have to go. I loved when I fell down Molly's steps because I forgot how icy it is in the morning. I loved sitting at Bear River for hours watching Heidi and Adina work, even though I never went even attended school there. I loved knowing everything and everyone, even if they didn't know me. I loved seeing Aunt Pam and Uncle Greg. I loved seeing Cherisse and her adorable husband. I loved staying up till one catching up with Molly. I loved sitting in Starbucks for hours laughing with Jen about our lives. I loved seeing Dimitri and missing our friendship. I loved going to the Butler's and laughing with old high school friends. I loved seeing Bergman and listening to his college stories. I loved how I magically can unlock Heidi's car. I loved how I walked through Forest Lake and how thankful I was that I had already graduated. I loved being the chaffeur and bringing people coffee. I loved the way the fog set over the mountains early in the morning. I loved seeing Haley everyday. I loved going to Grass Valley and eating chinese food. I loved listening to Cole's mom give us interesting advice. I loved going to Nick and Brie's house and listening to his cop stories and getting burnt by the bonfire. I loved the crisp cold weather and the small town feel.
I really needed that break from here. I really needed to be reminded of my cute little Auburn town.
I cannot wait visit more. It is so ironic in that I hated living up there. And now I miss it. I'm so thankful I got to visit.
And now reality is back.
Christmas Break is over. It was the most amazing break. Going to Orange and pulling the "rain" card so I could stay an extra night, many fun days at work, having Eve be my new best friend, karaoke bar, watching many movies, playing with Biscuit, being with my family, going to the movies, mall, etc. and visiting Auburn.
BUT.
Now I get to go back to Azusa. Not the least bit excited about this.
Besides the fact I get to see my girls.
Let's just get through this semester, and let it be better than last semester.
The end.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Goodbye 2010
Let's be honest: I don't even know where to begin this post.
I've been thinking about it for quite some time now, the reflection of my words and summary of the year 2010.
I literally am speechless.
This year was a whirlwind. My entire life changed, in so many different ways, some that I can't talk about publicly.
Let's just break it down for a little.
I brought in the new year with one of my best friends, Molly, celebrating with Martinelli's and grammy's house.
I believe I was single at the time. That changed through the course of the Winter, obviously.
I finished off my high school years with many fun memories and lifelong friends.
Then, I graduated. And it hit.
The feeling of freedom, the feeling of being able to go out into the world, the feeling of happiness, the feeling of all self-control being taken from my hands, the feeling of doing exactly what I want to do and not letting anyone else stop me.
And I did just that.
It's safe to say I lost part of me this summer, and I might never get it back.
I left Auburn, with a bang, and moved back down to my true home.
I then celebrated this in so many different ways with my other best friend Alysha. Boy, did we learn alot? Eh.
And then, it was time for College.
A fresh start, a new life.
I was ready for it. I felt it.
Okay, so maybe too soon.
This whole "change" thing. Everyone always forces it onto you. Change this, change that. You shouldn't be doing that, you should want to be doing this. Well maybe it's not that easy for some people. Maybe it's not that easy to form back into who you once were. Maybe it's just easier to live like you are. I'm not saying be stupid. I'm just saying maybe I'm in love with my Crazy Beautiful Life, as Ke$ha puts it. Yeah, there are things that I can change. But I'll do it on my own pace.
Anyways, college. It's also safe to say I made my mistakes. I was a "dumb human", as Kellie Muller and I put it. But it happens. People make mistakes.
There are a few things I learned about myself this year, and a few things I learned in general.
1. I realized that whole "Live and Learn" statement people throw around, yeah well ya know what? I realized it's really hard for me to learn. I usually just live. I rarely learn. I've made the same mistakes too many times. I'm slowly learning though. Well, starting to at least.
2. I learned to take baby steps. I learned that this whole "change" thing, it doesn't happen with a snap of a finger. If you go about like that, you will let your guard down and fall right back where you just where. It's going to be a process, a progression of change. But it's my life and I know what will work best for me in this aspect. Which are baby steps.
3. I learned that people are going to judge you. People are going to talk. But that's just life. And those are the kinds of people I don't need in mine.
4. The biggest thing I learned this year is: LIFE GOES ON. No matter who stabs you in the back, who you break up with, who you date, who you love, who you hate, what you do, no matter what. Life will continue. And you just gotta learn to pick up the pieces and keep living. It's not going to stop for you.
Overall, I am completely speechless about this past year. It was definitely very unpredictable and insane. But I have always been "wild at heart" as they say. As for a New Year's Resolution goes, I'm going to keep that to myself. I don't know what 2011 will bring. But I hope and pray it will just bring happiness. It will bring friendship. It will bring love. Love in many different forms. I'm hoping love will come. But an even bigger love. The love that only one man can give, and that's God's love. I hope to see it more, to recognize it more. Because honestly, it's hard at times.
2010 is officially in the past. Can't be changed or moved. It's all over. It's over.
I could not be more thankful.
Cheers to 2011. Bring it.
And here's a few of my favorite memories of 2010:
Christmas Break 2009-2010
Happy Birthday to me! Alysha comes to Auburn
Spring Break in Orange County: 2010
Goddessi "Prom" May 2010
We did it! Graduation 2010
Just the beginning of our love: June 2010
The three best friends that anyone can have! June 2010
Me & Molly's many summer adventures....
First RV party...the craziness begins.
Camping in San Deigo: August 2010
First Football Game! Hi Court.
Alysha Visits at APU.
Since 1st Grade!
Weekend in Orange County with APU girls!
Carrie Underwood @ Hollywood Bowl.
Oh hey Family at APU.
Kelly's 18 Birthday!
Jason Derulo in Hollywood with Alysh.
Alpha! I love Kellie Muller.
My life at APU.
Christmas Party 2010. More adventures with Olivia.
Karaoke-ing: Aka taking over an entire bar
I've been thinking about it for quite some time now, the reflection of my words and summary of the year 2010.
I literally am speechless.
This year was a whirlwind. My entire life changed, in so many different ways, some that I can't talk about publicly.
Let's just break it down for a little.
I brought in the new year with one of my best friends, Molly, celebrating with Martinelli's and grammy's house.
I believe I was single at the time. That changed through the course of the Winter, obviously.
I finished off my high school years with many fun memories and lifelong friends.
Then, I graduated. And it hit.
The feeling of freedom, the feeling of being able to go out into the world, the feeling of happiness, the feeling of all self-control being taken from my hands, the feeling of doing exactly what I want to do and not letting anyone else stop me.
And I did just that.
It's safe to say I lost part of me this summer, and I might never get it back.
I left Auburn, with a bang, and moved back down to my true home.
I then celebrated this in so many different ways with my other best friend Alysha. Boy, did we learn alot? Eh.
And then, it was time for College.
A fresh start, a new life.
I was ready for it. I felt it.
Okay, so maybe too soon.
This whole "change" thing. Everyone always forces it onto you. Change this, change that. You shouldn't be doing that, you should want to be doing this. Well maybe it's not that easy for some people. Maybe it's not that easy to form back into who you once were. Maybe it's just easier to live like you are. I'm not saying be stupid. I'm just saying maybe I'm in love with my Crazy Beautiful Life, as Ke$ha puts it. Yeah, there are things that I can change. But I'll do it on my own pace.
Anyways, college. It's also safe to say I made my mistakes. I was a "dumb human", as Kellie Muller and I put it. But it happens. People make mistakes.
There are a few things I learned about myself this year, and a few things I learned in general.
1. I realized that whole "Live and Learn" statement people throw around, yeah well ya know what? I realized it's really hard for me to learn. I usually just live. I rarely learn. I've made the same mistakes too many times. I'm slowly learning though. Well, starting to at least.
2. I learned to take baby steps. I learned that this whole "change" thing, it doesn't happen with a snap of a finger. If you go about like that, you will let your guard down and fall right back where you just where. It's going to be a process, a progression of change. But it's my life and I know what will work best for me in this aspect. Which are baby steps.
3. I learned that people are going to judge you. People are going to talk. But that's just life. And those are the kinds of people I don't need in mine.
4. The biggest thing I learned this year is: LIFE GOES ON. No matter who stabs you in the back, who you break up with, who you date, who you love, who you hate, what you do, no matter what. Life will continue. And you just gotta learn to pick up the pieces and keep living. It's not going to stop for you.
Overall, I am completely speechless about this past year. It was definitely very unpredictable and insane. But I have always been "wild at heart" as they say. As for a New Year's Resolution goes, I'm going to keep that to myself. I don't know what 2011 will bring. But I hope and pray it will just bring happiness. It will bring friendship. It will bring love. Love in many different forms. I'm hoping love will come. But an even bigger love. The love that only one man can give, and that's God's love. I hope to see it more, to recognize it more. Because honestly, it's hard at times.
2010 is officially in the past. Can't be changed or moved. It's all over. It's over.
I could not be more thankful.
Cheers to 2011. Bring it.
And here's a few of my favorite memories of 2010:
Christmas Break 2009-2010
Happy Birthday to me! Alysha comes to Auburn
Spring Break in Orange County: 2010
Goddessi "Prom" May 2010
We did it! Graduation 2010
Just the beginning of our love: June 2010
The three best friends that anyone can have! June 2010 Me & Molly's many summer adventures....
First RV party...the craziness begins. 
Camping in San Deigo: August 2010
First Football Game! Hi Court. 
Alysha Visits at APU.
Since 1st Grade!
Weekend in Orange County with APU girls!
Carrie Underwood @ Hollywood Bowl.
Oh hey Family at APU. 
Kelly's 18 Birthday!
Jason Derulo in Hollywood with Alysh.
Alpha! I love Kellie Muller. 
My life at APU.
Christmas Party 2010. More adventures with Olivia.
Karaoke-ing: Aka taking over an entire barThursday, December 30, 2010
Love, Actually.
Another holiday gone by.
Not to be a depressing romantic or anything, but really, people?
I am very bitter.
This whole "love" thing.
I watched Love Actually yesterday. I really need to stop watching movies about love.
I usually don't feel this way. I don't mind being single. I can handle it. But after awhile, it gets boring.
Like I said before, I'm tired of it. I'm so tired of it.
In that movie, everyone fell in love. Why does everyone always fall in love?
My best friend's mom said to me this morning, "love will find you."
Really? Find me then. Please find me.
Sometimes I picture it has already. Just a process, a progression.
But is it just a dream? I hope not.
There's that word: hope.
During work today, I was organizing the ring case, and 1 Corinthians 13:13 was printed on one of the rings.
"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."
Oh thanks. Cool.
Love is like haunting me. On my way home from Orange today the license plate of the car in front of me said "Happiness is having a Valentine to love."
Oh thanks. Cool.
Valentines Day ---> unmentionable?
Anyways, this whole love/hope/dream thing. It's annoying.
But I was also thinking about something else while I was watching Love Actually. When the movie starts, it says on the screen "Love actually is all around."
And in reality, it so is.
Last night three of my close friends and I had an amazing time together.
Just us. We went to a karaoke bar and rocked out. Yes, completely sober, and boyfriend-less. Which doesn't mean we didn't get hit on by every guy at the bar, because we did. But it was pure innocent fun. I had SO much fun with them.
And I love them. We throw that word around like its meaningless. I do it all the time. But it's because, love actually is all around us. And it doesn't have to be in opposite sex form. The friendship type of love is also. And I have that type of love abundantly in my life.
But the other type of love is missing. I know it's because I want it so bad. But I'm not really looking anymore.
I'm just tired of it being a dream.
Actually, love, you can come find me now.
Not to be a depressing romantic or anything, but really, people?
I am very bitter.
This whole "love" thing.
I watched Love Actually yesterday. I really need to stop watching movies about love.
I usually don't feel this way. I don't mind being single. I can handle it. But after awhile, it gets boring.
Like I said before, I'm tired of it. I'm so tired of it.
In that movie, everyone fell in love. Why does everyone always fall in love?
My best friend's mom said to me this morning, "love will find you."
Really? Find me then. Please find me.
Sometimes I picture it has already. Just a process, a progression.
But is it just a dream? I hope not.
There's that word: hope.
During work today, I was organizing the ring case, and 1 Corinthians 13:13 was printed on one of the rings.
"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."
Oh thanks. Cool.
Love is like haunting me. On my way home from Orange today the license plate of the car in front of me said "Happiness is having a Valentine to love."
Oh thanks. Cool.
Valentines Day ---> unmentionable?
Anyways, this whole love/hope/dream thing. It's annoying.
But I was also thinking about something else while I was watching Love Actually. When the movie starts, it says on the screen "Love actually is all around."
And in reality, it so is.
Last night three of my close friends and I had an amazing time together.
Just us. We went to a karaoke bar and rocked out. Yes, completely sober, and boyfriend-less. Which doesn't mean we didn't get hit on by every guy at the bar, because we did. But it was pure innocent fun. I had SO much fun with them.
And I love them. We throw that word around like its meaningless. I do it all the time. But it's because, love actually is all around us. And it doesn't have to be in opposite sex form. The friendship type of love is also. And I have that type of love abundantly in my life.
But the other type of love is missing. I know it's because I want it so bad. But I'm not really looking anymore.
I'm just tired of it being a dream.
Actually, love, you can come find me now.
This message:
is to Olivia Laven:
I HATE THIS!!!!!
But I love you dearly, and I still love you through the problem at hand.
And our incredible random friendship.
And how you can come kidnap me from school now.
And how you leave your window open during a storm.
And how we freeze together in RV's.
And how we make soup.
And how you make my life complete.
And hopefully other things...
Okay I love you. But I hate this issue. That is all.
I HATE THIS!!!!!
But I love you dearly, and I still love you through the problem at hand.
And our incredible random friendship.
And how you can come kidnap me from school now.
And how you leave your window open during a storm.
And how we freeze together in RV's.
And how we make soup.
And how you make my life complete.
And hopefully other things...
Okay I love you. But I hate this issue. That is all.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Two Things
First off, I am loving break.
Yesterday, we went to my cousins, who live in Glendora, a couple miles from school.
It was weird driving there, but not going to school.
Don't get me wrong, I am SO glad it isn't time to go back yet.
But it got me thinking. It's only been a week and a couple days since we all have left, and it already seems like a lifetime.
I wonder what it will be like when we all return.
Will anything change? Or will everything, everyone be the same?
It makes me excited, but also a little nervous.
Second thing, I watched The Holiday the other night.
Yes, it is one of my favorite movies.
But it reminded me that every damn movie has a happy ending. Everyone always falls inlove.
Yeah okay, I'm a little bitter about it. But it's so true. I'm tired of watching movies like that.
I'm tired of waiting. I'm so tired of waiting for it to happen. For that stupid fairy tale we all wanted when we were kids.
Is it even real? Sorry I'm so impatient. But where is mine? When will that magic take place?
I hate looking at every person I meet and wondering if they are it. I don't even know if I want it all. Maybe I just want the idea. Maybe I just want someone there. It's all getting a little old, if you ask me.
I'm just tired of waiting.
Yesterday, we went to my cousins, who live in Glendora, a couple miles from school.
It was weird driving there, but not going to school.
Don't get me wrong, I am SO glad it isn't time to go back yet.
But it got me thinking. It's only been a week and a couple days since we all have left, and it already seems like a lifetime.
I wonder what it will be like when we all return.
Will anything change? Or will everything, everyone be the same?
It makes me excited, but also a little nervous.
Second thing, I watched The Holiday the other night.
Yes, it is one of my favorite movies.
But it reminded me that every damn movie has a happy ending. Everyone always falls inlove.
Yeah okay, I'm a little bitter about it. But it's so true. I'm tired of watching movies like that.
I'm tired of waiting. I'm so tired of waiting for it to happen. For that stupid fairy tale we all wanted when we were kids.
Is it even real? Sorry I'm so impatient. But where is mine? When will that magic take place?
I hate looking at every person I meet and wondering if they are it. I don't even know if I want it all. Maybe I just want the idea. Maybe I just want someone there. It's all getting a little old, if you ask me.
I'm just tired of waiting.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
You.
You don't want me, no
You don't need me
Like I want you, oh
Like I need you
And I want you in my life
And I need you in my life
You can't see me, no
Like I see you
I can't have you, no
Like you have me
And I want you in my life
And I need you in my life
You can't feel me, no
Like I feel you
I can't steal you, no
Like you stole me
And I want you in my life
And I need you in my life
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