Back to December

Well well well.
Taylor Swift released a new song today, Back to December. December sparks two different memories of mine. But the first one we are not speaking of right now. The second opened my eyes, opened my eyes to light. People come and people go. Sometimes, someone enters your life, maybe only for a couple weeks, maybe for a couple years. No matter how long it is, sometimes they leave a footprint on your life. This person did. They impacted on me to what I could have in life. It gave me hope for the future, gave me hope of what is possible in life. And even though we rarely talk, I know this person will always be remembered, especially in that month. God puts people in your life for a purpose, and for a reason. You won't ever forget them, even if it was just a friendship.

"I go back to December turn around and make it all right,
I go back to December all the time"

Letting Go

These two words have been circling my mind for months now. Even years.
Its a cycle that never ends, like a room without doors or windows. Back and forth, back and forth. It's always so easy to fall back into it, but right now its impossible. Which is probably a good thing. I believe its finally time to let go. What is needed for me is to move on. There will always be memories of the good times and thoughts of how we used to be running around in my mind, but things will never be the same. Time has moved on, as have I. I have been blind to it, and always tried to push it to the back of my mind. I can't ignore God like I have been. If He is telling me anything right now, it's this. It's to move on. Jesus needs to take the wheel. He is leading me and guiding me to do this. I have to listen. It is time to force myself to get over the past. The past will always be there, but I can't keep dwelling on it. I have the present in front of me, and the future is more great than I could ever imagine.
It's time.
It's time to let go. No matter how hard it is.

Thoughts of the Day

And, this is why 500 Days of Summer is my favorite movie. It's my life.

Patience is a virtue

This is such a true statement.
Patience is one of my hardest quality. Learning to give my life to God and put everything into his hands is so difficult. Lately, I've began to realize I have to complete trust in God's timing in every aspect of my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm completely content on where I am, and who I am in my life right now. But sometimes I feel like somethings missing. I know God has that something or someone for me, and its already planned on when that will occur, its just so hard waiting for it and not being distracted by others. Distractions are everywhere, and their numerous. It's so easy to fall into their trap, especially when it has happened so many times before. I am learning to stand my ground, and not put myself in situations when their is opportunities too tempting to deny. But it is so difficult. I have to be patient. I have to let God handle this part of my life. And I will. I can do it.

Home

What comes to mind when you think of this word?

A million things go through mine. Home for me is several different places. My first thought is Valley Forge Drive, as that is where I lived the longest. I loved living in Orange and still refer to it as my "home". But then, a part of my "home" is in Auburn. I grew alot there, in good ways and bad, but it will always be a part of me, even though I was so excited to finally come back. My "house" is in Riverside, and I believe this is the least thing I refer to as my "home" because I have lived there the shortest.

Home is on my mind because I am thinking about going "home" this weekend. Home, as I said, is many different places, but as I was thinking about that word, I realize home is wherever my family is. My family makes it home. And the reason I'm going "home", is to see my mom, my dad, my brother, to see Biscuit, to hug my car, to jump in my pool, to watch the sun set over the mountains. So when it all comes down to it, home is my family, and home is wherever they are.

Our July in the Rain

Amen.

Wherever this is, I want to escape to it.

Can I please have my own?

"We love them. We love everyone."

You know those people, who come into your life completely randomly, and then one day you realize exactly why they did?
This realization came upon me today. I attended one Communiversity meeting, the events planning office at my school. I met Lexi there, and we talked a little. I kept running into her and her warm smile told me we were friends. Things clicked between us, and I knew we would become close. In a few short weeks, over coffee, homework sessions, and lunch, I see that she gets me. Lexi is the kind of sister in Christ I needed in my life, and older, more mature version of me. I look up to her and trust that through our past relating experiences she will help me form into the woman of God I'm destined to be. Our intimate moments and conversation have helped me let go of my regrets and fears and trust that through God I can be true to myself and my actions. I see God's light in her, and feel that she was put in my life for this very reason.
Thank you God, for helping me see this, see her, see your amazing love and never ending grace and forgiveness.
As Lexi always teaches me to say, "No no, we love them. We love everyone."
Perfection :)