But I was reminded by myself of a few things.
First off, we are growing up.
I finally realize that I am 19 years old. Nineteen. Years. Old.
I'm in college. I'm not in high school.
I can do things on my own. I don't live at my house during the school year. I don't have curfew. If I want Mcdonalds at 2 AM, I can have Mcdonalds at 2 AM.
On Wednesday, a few of my close friends and I went to Hollywood to a concert. We took public transportation because we didn't have cars. (I still don't understand why my wittle Pumpkin sits in my driveway, but at least I got it this weekend!) It was a weird feeling taking the bus to the train to the subway. But we are responsible. We are adults. We are allowed to do these things. And if we want to go to LA on a Wednesday night, we can. It's so weird. It's so weird to think how we're growing up. We are old.
Yesterday, I helped one of my good friends get ready for her senior prom. That brought up other emotions. The fact that high school is over. It has been for almost a year now, which is so weird. There will never be another high school football game, Winter Formal, etc. As I thought about that driving back to my best friends house, I realized that it's okay. It's okay that high schools over. Sometimes I miss it, and how easy and fun it really was. But at the same time, I'm so glad it's over.
And I feel older. I feel like I am doing so much in my life and in my self and through others. And it's wonderful. It's truly wonderful. I feel 19. And I feel like I have gotten it together lately. I can go to a party and not be that girl I was. I can be responsible, I can handle myself, and I can have fun. A lot of fun. Good fun.
This weekend was fun. I love knowing that the best friend I've had for the past 5 years will continue to be my best friend for the next 5, and the next 5, and the next 5. I'm so grateful to have her, throughout everything we have been through. It's weird to think how close we are, and how it seems impossible I could love her so much, but really, I do. I know I sound gay, but anyone who knows me and Alysha, know that it can be questioned because we are so obsessed with each other.
It's also weird to think how fast this year has gone by. How it's almost summer. It feels like yesterday I was moving my clothes into my dorm room, starting new classes, meeting new people. But it's almost been a year. My first year of college, over, completed, done. Now, THAT'S weird. But a good feeling. Knowing I have that behind me. And also knowing the summer I get to look forward too. This past weekend was just a hint of what it will be like. And I really hope this will finally be a damn good summer. The past 4 summers haven't been normal. I moved three of them, and the other one got ruined by totalling my car. So I hope this one will be normal, but exciting, none the less. I already see the vacations and trips I get to take, somehow fitting in a job, and possibly school. But I cannot wait for it all.
I am so ready. I am ready to be done with my first year, put it all behind me, and I am ready to have an amazing summer of being 19, being responsible, being fun, being truly me.
I cannot even explain how much I appreciate and love my life. Even though there is a few things that couldn't have happen lately, or things that I wish did, life is still, honestly, perfect. As perfect as it could get.
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